They care more about what you are going through more than they care about how fun you are. Everyone has their own ideal friend. In addition to the qualities shared by all true friends, you may want a friend who shares your interests or goals.
Or, you might want to spend time with people who are different from you in ways that challenge you to grow as a person. If your current friends let you down, redefining true friendship can open the door to a rich, rewarding relationship.
Much like our personal styles, we all may have different needs and desires when coming to friendship. You may also come to recognize that some differences are able to support you in some areas of life while you may have another friend that you rely on for support in another area of your life.
Expanding the friendships that make up your support system can help ensure that your needs are adequately being met. No friend is perfect, and no friend will be able to be everything to you. Even true friends will sometimes disappoint us.
What matters most is how they respond to your feelings and the patterns they establish. Have the disappointments you are experiencing in your friendship become habits? A true friend cares about you and is able to have concern and respect for your thoughts and emotions even when they may not agree. If the disappointment you are experiencing in a friendship has become consistent, it may be time to redefine your definition of a true friend.
Talking to a professional therapist can help you understand where you are going wrong as you choose your friends. The therapist can offer you a sound psychological basis for recognizing and nurturing the friendships that will improve your life and bring you happiness and peace now and in the future.
It only takes a moment to reach out for help. When you do, you can start your journey towards satisfying friendships with real friends. By: Joanna Smykowski Updated November 11, Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn Friendship It is normal to question your friendships and what they mean to you, if you find yourself questioning your friendships, a therapist might be able to guide you towards fostering better relationships.
Clifton Fadiman Friend The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him. Ralph Waldo Emerson Inspirational Quotes I learned that a real friendship is not about what you can get, but what you can give.
Real friendship is about making sacrifices and investing in people to help them improve their lives. Eric Thomas Giving Most of us have business associates, casual acquaintances, and occasional companions. Real friends, on the other hand, are not so easy to acquire. Friendship rests upon more than accidental relationships or even association in a common task.
Its roots lie in the spiritual realm. Al Bryant Relationship True friendship is effortless. Saying Inspirational Sayings It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends; the mean and the cowardly can never know what true friendship is.
Charles Kinsley Coward The growth of true friendship may be a lifelong affair. Sarah Orne Jewett Growth When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we can know.
Real friends move with these changes and talk about them as they are happening. Anne Wilson Schaeft Quotes about Change Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
Sallust Short Positive Quotes The reward of friendship is itself. The man who hopes for anything else does not understand what true friendship is. Especially if they spend their time with significant others or different friends. Everyone is busy; not everyone flakes out.
Decide if you both put the same amount of effort into the friendship. It's a give and take, so don't do all the giving if your friend is a taker. Usually, you can feel this happening -- movie night is always at your house, you always call first, they keep borrowing your Simpsons DVDs without asking, etc. And if you feel it happening, cut them off! True friends give back to you without having to think about it.
Not everyone is a hugger, but everyone has a way of demonstrating that they care for you. Keeping things equal doesn't mean you spend the same amount of cash on people -- relationships aren't bought and sold. It's just about feeling respected and cared for by a friend, however they show it. Don't let your friend always come to you for favors and support, but get busy the minute you need a hand.
You should both be reaching out from time to time, not only to ask for help but to offer it. Consider if they are true to their word. A flake is not a friend. If your friend never seems to do what they say they'll do, leaves you stranded, or forgets about plans you've made, then you have a flake on your hands, and you don't have a true friend. We've all bailed on a plan or made a last-second switch, but if your friend never seems to do what they say they'll do, then they don't value your time or company.
With a good friend: " word is bond. Get some Head and Shoulders and wipe them off your calendar. Determine if they have other motives for becoming your pal. This soul-searching is particularly hard to do, but it's important. Take the time to reflect on why your friend might want to hang out with you. More likely than not, you're just good friends, and the rest of the "benefits" just happen naturally.
There are some classic reasons why a fake friend might find you, but usually, you'll see a few of the other warnings signs if they aren't true friends. Still, be on the lookout for those hoping to latch on to your: Popularity.
If Mean Girls taught the world anything, it's that true friends stick around no matter how popular you are. Popularity is a fickle beast, but it doesn't bother your true friends. Make no mistake-- having rich friends is fun. You get to do all the things you could never afford! But if your friends only love you for your wealth, they'll be gone before the last penny drops.
Are you giving them a ride to the office or a chance to look over your homework? Are they giving anything back? It is summer vacation, and your next door neighbor is suddenly chummy. School starts and you never see him again. Recognize if they expect you to bolster their self-esteem. While friends should encourage and support each other, some friends may be too clingy or needy.
If your friend looks to you to constantly stroke their ego and make them feel better about themselves, they may be using you. Part 3. Decide if they make you feel good about yourself. Your friend doesn't have to agree with everything you've done, but your friendship should make you feel good about who you are as a person. They make the time fly and the world feel conquerable. If you leave a hangout session with your friend feeling invigorated, excited, or just giggling from the silly time you shared, then you're both killing this whole friendship thing.
If your friend is putting you down to make themselves feel better, then you have a problem. If your friend makes you feel bad through snide comments about your looks, weight, grades, etc, then -- well, you get the picture.
Even if your friend provides criticism or negative feedback, they should do it in a way that is respectful and builds you up. Think about whether they make you feel valuable. If being involved with your "friend" makes you feel uncertain about your importance in your friend's life, then they shouldn't be important in your life. While a friend shouldn't coddle you with lies, a true friend always makes you feel needed, important, and indispensable.
They ask your advice and listen to it, and don't leave your side as soon as the "cool" friend walks in the room. They dismiss your advice or thoughts and leave you out of group plans. Figure out if being around them makes you happy. It seems so simple and obvious, doesn't it?
That's what makes it so important to remember. Plain and simple, true friends are those you're happy to be around. If you're less happy hanging out with your friend than you are when you're alone, then you might as well go alone -- this person is a happiness suck.
But if you feel like your friend is always going through a crisis and you can't enjoy yourself because you're too busy picking up the pieces, then you have a problem. You're a friend, not a box of tissues. If you don't look forward to hanging out with your friend, keep them away from your other friends or family, or feel burdened to be with them, then they're not really true friends.
This time, however, it is up to you to politely excuse yourself. Follow your instincts to find true friends. If something doesn't feel right, it isn't. Don't follow horror-movie logic, ignoring your bad feelings to get burned later on. If you're unhappy with them, don't feel supported and loved, or can't trust a friend, then don't be their friend. True friends aren't easy to come by, but that doesn't mean you need to settle for someone who treats you like crap.
If you're even questioning whether your friend is a true friend or not, then there's a good chance there's a major problem in your relationship.
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